OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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