thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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