meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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