we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize