sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
