He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
