DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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