Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
