Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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