I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
