I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
