Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
