so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
