My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
