If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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