True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
