paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
