I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
