I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
