plz talk dirty to me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize