I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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