I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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