so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
