Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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