if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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