i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
