my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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