I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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