butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my poor anus
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
