dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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