She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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