If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
