hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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