So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
