did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
