the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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