she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize