just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
