Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
