Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
