hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
