i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize