I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
