He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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