end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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