Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
