oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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