I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
