I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
