He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
