how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
