mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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