too bad you live with your parents still
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
