I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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