Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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