I just made out with a guy for $7.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
