sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
