Umm I'm too high to move.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
