Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
