In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
