Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
