i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
