When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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