He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
