My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He felt like a one man threesome
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
