My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
