Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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